Sunday, May 31, 2009


Don't have much motivation today, well, the whole weekend actually. Today's post is going back to my roots ... so just some crotch shots. Attention span is pretty shot. Feel like I wasted the weekend, could have done so much more. And I think that the realization of how I fucked up my life is finally sinking in. I am not sure how I am going to pull through this in time and still be able to make ends meet.

Just the other day I had to make my bi-weekly payment on my laptop. So that cut into the little money I had left. Then I need to pay rent next week, once that is done, I will be completely broke with no money coming in. I am trying to think of things I own that I can sell to make a quick buck. At least enough to come up with the next payment on my laptop which is due the 15th. If I do not have it, Rent A Center will come to pick it up. On top of that my bills are going to fall behind. And I need to find a job within the next week to be sure that I will get paid in time for rent next month. I can feel myself slowly falling apart. All I want to do is sleep and eat. It is starting to keep me from going out and doing things. Well, that and having no money.

Anyway .... enough of my problems. Enjoy this evening's post.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Case Of The Ex ....

Ever have one of those dreams where you wake up and realize "shit! that was just a dream!"? Then you try to fall back asleep to continue it? But you can't so your whole day is ruined? I had one last night/this morning that involved my ex when I lived in Chicago. He now lives in Phoenix and not a day goes by where I do not think about him and miss him. I can honestly say that, when I think about him and I together and the way things were, my heart aches. I truly believe that he is my soulmate, that we are meant to be together.

We stopped talking when I moved out here, then spoke again many months later, then stopped, then started. It has been back and forth like that for years now. I really fucked up the relationship in a BIG way! I have issues, I now know that, and will own up to them. But it is like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. I have promised him I would change so many times that I do not blame him for ignoring me this time around. And yea, I have tried a couple of times in the last week to contact him. I don't think the long distance thing would work, although I would try my hardest to make it work. I just miss having him in my life. With how I am feeling about life right now, it would be so nice to have him hold me in his arms and tell me it is going to be ok. Guess I will always have my dreams ....

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I'll Tell You Where You Can Stick This Job ...

Well I probably made the biggest mistake the other day ... I quit the new job. Why? A couple of reasons. First I was reprimanded for something out of my control, something I was told to do. As if that was not bad enough, I was then made to look like an ass in front of all of my new co-workers, when it was decided to discuss what happened. Even though it had nothing to do with why the group was pulled into a meeting anyway. After that happened I went back to my desk, cleaned up and walked out. There was no reason for it at all.

So not sure what is going to happen now. I am looking for something new and also trying to see if my last employer will take me back. Still waitiing for a follow up from them. I barely have enough money to make rent and have none to cover my bi-weekly payment for the new computer. And all of this is due by the middle of next week. So I guess I am once again reaching out to all of you for some assistance, if you can do it. The donation button is to the right. If you prefer to mail me something, feel free to email In the meantime I need to figure out what happens next ... I also want you to enjoy today's post.