Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Case Of The Ex ....

Ever have one of those dreams where you wake up and realize "shit! that was just a dream!"? Then you try to fall back asleep to continue it? But you can't so your whole day is ruined? I had one last night/this morning that involved my ex when I lived in Chicago. He now lives in Phoenix and not a day goes by where I do not think about him and miss him. I can honestly say that, when I think about him and I together and the way things were, my heart aches. I truly believe that he is my soulmate, that we are meant to be together.

We stopped talking when I moved out here, then spoke again many months later, then stopped, then started. It has been back and forth like that for years now. I really fucked up the relationship in a BIG way! I have issues, I now know that, and will own up to them. But it is like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. I have promised him I would change so many times that I do not blame him for ignoring me this time around. And yea, I have tried a couple of times in the last week to contact him. I don't think the long distance thing would work, although I would try my hardest to make it work. I just miss having him in my life. With how I am feeling about life right now, it would be so nice to have him hold me in his arms and tell me it is going to be ok. Guess I will always have my dreams ....





















2 comments:

Anonymous said...

no but i have had weird vivid dreams that for whatever reason leave me in a bad mood when i wake up.

Meatball

Ruffy said...

I understand what you mean, I've had dreams like that- a fairytale land and when you wake up you want desperately to return. Perhaps it was a sign of things will get better. Clinging to our mistakes doesn't allow us to move forward, it only keeps us stuck in neutral.